Episode 25: Resentful—Why Change? The Truth About Motivation

In this episode, we explore the role resentment plays in blocking our motivation to change—and how we can transform it into a powerful force for growth. If you’re finding yourself feeling stuck, waiting for your partner to change, or struggling to get out of the cycle of frustration, this episode offers insights and actionable strategies.

We'll discuss what resentment truly is and why it surfaces in relationships, especially when you feel unheard or treated unfairly. And if your partner’s behavior is stuck on repeat, this episode will help you stop waiting and start building the change you want to see.

In This Episode:

Understanding Resentment

• What resentment is: a natural response that appears when we feel wronged or deprived of what we believe we deserve.

• How resentment can act as both a motivator and a barrier, prompting us to act while also potentially keeping us stuck if not channeled properly.

Resentment as a Call to Action

• Why resentment isn’t just a passive feeling; it’s an emotional signal that often drives us to “level the playing field” or push back. We’ll explore how to make sure this drive supports positive change rather than creating more conflict.

The Dual Nature of Resentment

• Resentment isn’t inherently negative—it signals that we want a shift in our relationship or environment. But holding onto it too long can lead to stagnation, making change feel impossible.

Resentment as a Block to Behavior Change

• When we hold onto resentment, it often makes us feel that our efforts to change are pointless, especially if we’re waiting for someone else to act first. This episode will explore how this mindset can lead to a cycle of feeling justified in staying the same, even when it harms us.

 

4 Key Motivation Blockers and Their Escape Routes:

1. Resentment

   • Resentment keeps us focused on others’ actions, often blinding us to our own power to change.

2. Hopelessness

   • Feeling that things will never change can make us give up before we even try.

3. Lack of Steps/Know-How

   • Not knowing where to begin can make change feel overwhelming and impossible.

4. Fear

   • Fear of failure or the unknown often holds us back from even starting.

 

Curious about starting your own journey of change?
Check out the Relationship Reboot: A Quick Start Guide if you're open to the possibility of possibly changing. This episode will walk you through how to get past each motivation blocker and create the momentum for real, lasting growth.